Is the car running away from something? Is it running towards something? Or is it just some dumb kid with a lead foot accelerating off of a dirt shoulder? If you picked option three, you get an all expenses paid free night at a Comfort Inn in Sawdust, Idaho. Here’s a more detailed description ofContinue reading “Tips for Staying Sane Now and Forever”
I downloaded this image randomly because I had no idea what to write about. Let’s see if we can have some fun with wordplay. Airplanes have always interested me. They still do, as long as I don’t have to ride in coach. I used to make model planes as a kid. I only made theContinue reading “Jet Propelled”
007 has a license to kill. Insurance companies have a license to steal.
Thank you gas stations across America for invading one of the last bastions of peace and quiet I have (had). I can no longer pump gas with only my thoughts to keep me company. Now I must listen to a moronic advertisement and a news sound bite repeated endlessly and finally an admonition at theContinue reading “Gas TV”
For the past two years, I’ve been trying to find an upscale coffee maker to replace my old, reliable, cheap Mr. Coffee. I am in search of a more aesthetically pleasing machine that makes better coffee.
“Lose Twenty Pounds the Easy Way and Have Fun Gaining It Back”
Thanks mainly to the peace circulating in my body from the weekend seminar I did not hate the ticket attendant. I did not scream or berate the poor woman. She was only doing her job. She had no control over how badly her job was screwing me.
My printer passed away last night. The print head had a massive heart attack. I performed several emergency medical procedures prescribed by my HP Solutions Center–all to no avail. Funeral services will be announced. A helpful store clerk at Office Depot informed me that print heads often break within two to three years. “It costsContinue reading “The Price of Printing or Planned Disappearance”
All this talk about overpopulation is finally beginning to hit home. Lately, it seems like almost everywhere I go, hordes of people come crawling out of the woodwork. It’s really becoming annoying. Take, for example, a trip to the mall. You have to use a slide rule to calculate the ideal time to go, toContinue reading “Can We Make Fewer Babies?”
Why would anyone want to be in the same room as a chicken neck, much less eat one? Consider the shape of a chicken neck, for starters. Does it remind you of a piece of cow intestine, or a giant snail without the shell — or maybe a biceps muscle severed from the bone? NowContinue reading “Chicken Necks”