Tag: gas prices

I started eating natural foods at the age of 21.  Considering that was 42 years ago, I am somewhat of a pioneer or at the very least an early adopter.

The increasing popularity of natural foods is proof positive that human consciousness is continuing to expand.  However, I am at a loss to explain how the average natural food enthusiast can afford the cost of gas and natural foods.

Wait a minute.  Maybe if you eat one-and-a-half meals a day instead of three you can afford both.

Hold on.  I think I’ve finallyfigured it out.  Yes, this has to be the answer:

People who buy their groceries at natural food stores and continue to drive their cars no longer go to the movies.

This means that the decline in movie box office sales is NOT due to the quality of the movies coming out of Hollywood nowadays.  It is due to a redistribution of disposable income into the natural food sector.

Let’s move on to a few important facts of interest that will affect your life, whether you eat natural foods or not, and whether you like it or not (the facts, I mean.)

Tofu is the natural food equivalent of Hamburger Helper.

People who eat natural foods are 37% less likely to be involved in road rage incidents when compared to a statistically relevant sample of processed food consumers.

Children brought up on natural food are 26% more likely to realize GOD at some point beyond the age of 40.

In ten years, there will be 2,719 WHOLE FOODS stores in China.

If natural food consumption continues to grow at its present rate, financial analysts predict BURGER KING and McDONALDS corporations will merge within the next seven years and the new company will attempt to buy the WHOLE FOODS chain.

Editor’s Note: We hope this does not happen.